I feel that the 30 years leading up to this point has been trial and error and I am finally at a place where I am able to stand up for myself and what I believe in. Not only am I able to do so, but in an unapologetic and unforgiving way. I try and live my life as respectful as possible, considering the next person and how my actions and words impact the lives of those I come into contact with. I might not always get it right but knowing that I am doing all of this so that my daughter can have the view from the top is the reason I keep going.
Mila wants to be many things, one of which is a pilot. It’s of the utmost importance that I show my daughter that “male driven roles” within the working environment is a thing of the past, in fact, it is no longer something we can even call mention to. As a woman in the IT industry I’ve had to overcome many stereotypes and oppressions, some even, by my own tribe. I have worked very hard to be where I’m at and shortcuts were never my forte so put in the work, ride that struggle bus ladies, trust me your stop is coming up.
Raising a little lady means that more-so I need to be aware of myself. My strengths, weaknesses, my faults and my victories. Knowing when to say “I’m sorry” is very important. I come from an age where adults did not apologise to children nore ask for forgiveness when they’ve done wrong. What we don’t realise is that we are robbing our youth of acknowledgement of fault. As an adult I look around me and witness how many men and women don’t know how to accept fault nor do they know how to approach or deal with fault on their end. We avoid it. We ignore it. We trust that if it’s not addressed, enough time will pass and it will be something that would have happened at one stage of our lives that we just don’t talk about.
Knowing that this used to be the way I dealt with difficult topics and personal faults has made me hyper aware of my actions, words and approach. I’ve become so mindful that I when I speak and the receivers face or body language is not what I had expected, I ask one of the following:
1. Do you know what I mean?
2. That’s only my opinion, do you mind sharing yours as I might be missing a different point of view?
3. Do you think my approach could possibly come across unfavourable?
I have realized that being right is not the ultimate goal in my life. I understand that my point of view or opinion is not always going to be accepted with open arms. What I ask for is the minimum level of respect, which is nothing less than being heard and considered. This is the approach I take with raising my daughter. I never want her to lose sight of herself or forget that she has a voice. Those who disagree clearly do not appreciate it and in turn do not deserve to hear it.
Please enjoy a selection of glorious photos taken by Michelle Photography
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